Dear Brother,
This decade behind prison walls
Has had its ups and downs.
Thirteen years – fears and tears
Battles fought daily
Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Battles I can win
But the war was lost
The day I got locked up.
The anxiety built up inside me
Leaves me questioning
Life itself as I say:
Who lives in the eyes of God?
Who walks in His grace?
Who has even seen His face?
Help me live in faith
I’m blind and can’t see
I talk but can’t breathe
I feel but can’t embrace.
I wake up in the morning
Like a corpse rising from the grave.
I look up in the sky – Damn!
I’m still in this place.
Hell on earth in store for a rebirth.
Need air and water to stir this fire.
The burning desire not to be a liar,
Backbiter, dirty fighter – can’t even buy a cigarette lighter.
All this anxiety, monstrosity, calamity,
Poverty, living in a cage,
Bottled up rage, the sky gets higher
There goes my shade – my own shadow
Can’t stand this place.
Prison wasn’t made for me.
I should’ve stopped while
I was ahead.
Now I’m trapped in a cave
With a toilet and a bed.
God I beg of you-
Take me when I’m dead.
